Vino for my pinot

2008 Joel Gott Zinfandel, California

Tastes like:A black eye. Not the domestic violence variety. Just really strong black and blue fruit, specifically blackberries and blueberries. The berry flavors were so intense this wine could double as syrup. Yet somehow the flavors did not overwhelm The wine felt balanced by a bit of spice and oak.

Feels like:Smoking a pipe. There is absolutely zero tobacco flavor in the wine, but drinking it is akin to smoking a good pipe. I typically drink wine by the gulp. This Zin has a nice long finish that lingers on your tongue, so I ended up taking smaller sips and enjoying each one.

Goes with: Pancakes

2009 Alain Jaume Terrasses de Montmirail, Gigondas

Tastes like: A black fruit grenade. As I poured the wine I noticed the deep red gem-like color, a color of the glass and teeth staining variety. Similar to holding a grenade,I know what to expect yet I am excited all the same. The first sip is well-balanced and lush. 3-2-1-BOOM. Blueberry, cassis, black raspberry, and currants all come rushing forward. Unlike a grenade there are no casualties. The impact is well structure and silky with just the right amount of acidity, leaving a pleasantly surprising note of spice on the middle of your tongue.

Feels like: A dark room. It’s familiar yet foreign. It’s more sleep over dark than horror film dark. The air is dense. It’s spicy and sweet. You can taste it. You stand but then decide to sit and eventually recline. You breathe deeply. It’s pleasant. You enjoy being there, but know your time is limited. The room is dark.

Goes with: Applying the 80/20 rule (80 Grenache, 20% Syrah) makes this a big wine. It goes well with just about any meat, cheese or sauce. It also goes with discovering an awesome appellation that is right next to Châteauneuf-du-Pape…meaning great wine w/o the insane price tag. This wine will cellar for several more years.

2008 Stags’ Leap Merlot, Napa Valley

Tastes like: Cherry pie and a cup of black coffee. I’ve never understood some people’s aversion to Merlot. True, there is a lot of sub-par swill out there, but when Merlot is good it’s gooood. It is one of the five grapes allowed in Bordeaux after all. Stags’ Merlot is incredibly soft and round. Suave even. They added a tiny bot of Petite Sirah and Cabernet to the mix, which makes it a little more interesting. You can tell they aged it in oak to give the wine additional depth.

Feels like: Charles Barkley. Before you stop reading, remember Barkley’s nickname was “the Round Mound of Rebound.” Given the density and roundness of this wine, it seems appropriate. And remember, he rode a horse for a Right Guard commercial, so he’s also sophisticated.

Goes with: Proving Merlot critics wrong. Simple.

2009 Chateau de Montfaucon Baron Louis, Cotes de Rhone

Tastes like: One of my favorite wines in a long time. But it didn’t start that way. This is a complex wine, thus the complex opinion. If you have a minute, I’ll tell you why. When I picked this bottle up it had all the makings of an exceptional wine. A 90pt rating from The Nose (aka Robert Parker), rave reviews from my local wine merchant, Rhone origins, and a picture of a castle on the label. This was a drinking occasion in the making. Then I took my first sip. Tighter than a tight rope. I let it sit for a bit. The second sip was softer and more nuanced. I let it sit still. My third sip was remarkably different. The wine had transformed. It was soft, slightly sugary and balanced. The tannins were still there, but not overpowering. The stiffness was replaced with blueberries, cherries, a little black pepper and maybe even allspice. Sips and swigs 4-87 increased in deliciousness until my teeth were stained purple and the bottle was drained.

Feels like: A great double cross. This wine reminds you that first impressions are sometimes better when you’ve made them a few times. I imagine it will drink well for another 5-10 years, rounding out and perfecting even further. I tried to guess the blend, but this wine leaves your mouth feeling gang banged. I fled to the world wide web. It’s made of some heavy hitters 40% Grenache and the rest Syrah, Cinsault, Carignan, Mourvedre and Counoise. All good company.

Goes with: Drinking know or cellaring for a few more years. This wine should be enjoyed over an hour two. It’s French, so eat something with it will you. Other than that, it just goes with pure enjoyment.

2009 Barber Cellars “Mr. Beast” Zinfandel, Dry Creek Sonoma

Tastes like: A Dali painting. It’s complex, powerful, different and yet somehow restrained. This is a fantastic wine and it’s unlike any Zin I’ve had. On one hand, bold flavors of strawberry and black fruit hit you right away. But then comes the trip. It’s elegant with nice acidity (coming from 86% Zin, 14% Sangiovese blend). Hints of wood and leather are present giving the wine a nice round mouth feel. Lower than usual alcohol content makes the whole bottle drinkable. Bottoms up.

Feels like: Jerry Garcia emerging from a LSD trip into the partially sunny, fog infested air of San Francisco, only to be met by a Southern Bell who is strolling down the Embarcadero. They walk side by side engulfed in conversation that is not instantly recognizable, but still feels familiar.

Goes with: Finding a needle in the haystack. Around 400,000 tons of Zinfandel grapes are crushed in the U.S. each. Whichever ones made it into this bottle were perfect. This wine may be accompanied by an obnoxious dinner guest talking about how he “discovered” this great wine, when it was actually recommended by the local wine store. In my case, the bottle was shared over a delicious brisket between me and my dad, followed by my wife barfing in the living room…completely unrelated to the wine. Cheers.

Bodegas Volver 2009 Tempranillo Single Vineyard

Tastes Like: It wants to be that girl in 3rd grade who wanted to answer every single question the teacher asked - you know the one - she sat there waving her hand frantically every time the teacher even looked in her direction and she would keep doing it until the teacher would wearily acknowledge her, only to have her say, “two!”…or “the Wright brothers!”….or “Spain!” and then look smugly around the room until the teacher said, “That’s the wrong answer.”  Then she would be all crestfallen and sometimes even pee her pants.  This wine is like that, she was told she was really smart and she starts out nicely - all berries and cherries, but her tannins immediately lose their grip and she slides off your tongue and hangs out morosely around your molars.

Feels Like: Robert Parker must have developed dyslexia and this should have been a 29 point wine, or maybe he was just looking in the mirror above his spitting station admiring the purple hue on his teeth and his assistant thought he said 92. 

Goes With: Everything else you dump down your kitchen sink.  If you really can’t bear to do that, add her to the spaghetti sauce sitting on the back of your stove.  Despite her 50 year old vines, she is definitely sitting in the back of the wine short bus.

2010 Cupcake Vineyards, Red Velvet

Tastes Like:  a blend of an alcoholic Chocolate YooHoo and Strawberry Nestle’s Quik.  Winemaker Adam Richardson says, “Our first blended red wine for Cupcake Vineyards has over the top aromas of chocolate, deep rich blackberries, red fruits that follow through the palate to a creamy mocha finish that is unmistakable in its intensity and length, with a hint of coconut. It’s reminiscent of a blackberry chocolate cupcake with a mocha coulis.”   I say he might be slightly full of shit, but whatever he did to make it taste like chocolate and berries, he did it in spades.

Feels Like:  the same way you feel when you eat Cheetos.  You know they are a cheap, simple, guilty pleasure…but you soon find yourself licking the bottom of the bag and vaguely wondering how you ended up with an orange crust built up in the corners of your mouth.

Goes With:  I wouldn’t drink them with Cheetos, but I might try it with a big ol’ bacon cheeseburger…with Cheetos on the side.

2007 Chateau Montelena Chardonnay, Napa Valley

Tastes like: Victory over the French 35 years later. Everything you want in a Chardonnay. Pear, peach and green apple are prominent, but not over-powering. Super girly flower notes add depth. 

Feels like: Your bipolar aunt Gina. That’s not a sexual innuendo. Gross.  The Montelena Chardonnay is simultaneously mellow and lively. It reminds me of exactly what California wine country feels like. Sunny, serene and stunning. Take that Walt Whitman.

Goes with: You can drink this wine with a meal, but it’s much more enjoyable with light appetizers. You need just enough food to give you reason to keep drinking. We drank this particular Chardonnay at Montelena and then again in our backyard on a warm evening. We even had string lights…because that’s what you do in the suburbs.

2009 Domaine Paul Autard Chateauneuf Du Pape, Rhone Valley

Tastes like: An edible arrangement of awesome fruit. This wine is really concentrated with flavor. Tons of dark berry. A little spice and chocolate to top it off. And a hint of leather from the the belt your dad or ex-girlfriend used to spank you with….hopefully not in the same way or at the same time. We decanted this wine for about 40 mins. Probably would have been better after 40 days.

Feels like: A solid right hook. This wine packs a punch. It’s chewy, complex yet subtle enough not to kill your tongue.

Goes with: Food, air, Scarlett Johansson’s lips and my wife’s middle finger. Don’t drink this wine alone (i.e. without food). Paring it with food and letting it breathe help keep the wine smooth and supple. If you manage to drink it with Scarlett (or my wife), well then, drink it however you want. At that point, the wine should not be what your attention is focused on.

2007 Bent Creek Cabernet Sauvignon, Livermore Valley

Tastes like: Black and smooth - two words not typically used to describe me. Rich blackberry and cherry flavors envelop your mouth in one sip. Surprisingly soft tannins for California Cab, making it easy to drink and over drink…if there is such a thing. 

Feels like: Hanging out with the voice of James Earl Jones. Being in the womb, but with more fruit, a hint of oak and a lot less placenta.

Goes with: Happening upon a small winery 15 minutes from your house. A good hearty meal. A mellow cigar or pipe.

NV The Naked Grape Pinot Grigio, California

Tastes Like: A lemon and pear snowcone, especially when you stick a bottle in the freezer and wait until it gets slushy before pouring youself a glass.  Dependable, easy going and thirst quenching.  A great way to welcome summer.

Feels Like:  The girl nextdoor that you grew up with and always thought of as kind of like one of your sisters….until that fateful and heart stopping, early summer day in high school, that hesitant first kiss when you sat beside her at the river and when you realized she smelled like pears and lemons, except way better.  I guarantee that the first tentative sip will be followed by deep quaffs of this delicious and surprisingly structured Pinot Grigio…you might even ask her to the prom.

Goes With:  Stolen summer kisses, skinny dipping at the river, the smell of cocoa butter and myer lemons, and counting the vertebrae on the back of your new crush by touch alone.

2009 Chateau Geneau Bordeaux, Bordeaux

Tastes Like:   Having your tongue whipped with gourmet black licorice ropes (there is a such a thing, right?) that were dipped in plum juice.  It tastes even more juicy as it opens up, so open yourself to some whipping and use a decanter.

Feels Like:  The winemaker has been successful in restraining the yields, or perhaps he just sacrificed a couple of virgins at the annual Maypole event to ensure an excellent concentrated crop.  Luckily you don’t have be tied naked to a Maypole or do the backbreaking work of tending these vines in the murdererous Sol of Espana to enjoy this juice….just wander down to one of the better Vino Shoppes in your area and partake.

Goes With:  Chanting and dancing and twirling in a misty field at exact moment of the  Vernal  Equinox, or maybe with a Porterhouse, medium rare; creamed spinach and crsipy hashbrowns.

2010 Domaine Sainte-Eugenie Rose, Corbieres Appellation

Tastes like: Raspberries and Italian seasoning. A strange combination, but it works. It also smells like peaches which was unexpected. 

Feels like: A dry Frenchman, fruity Italian and a Georgia Peach walk into a bar….an orgy ensues and 9 months later you have this Rose.

Goes with: Beach Boys. Beach balls. Cabana boys. Beach Bodies.

2008 St. Supery Oak Free Chardonnay, Napa Valley

Tastes like: New wave pinot grigio. Pineapple and green apple are all I can remember about this wine. If you’re going to be remembered for only two things, pineapple and green apple, is better than genocide and pedophilia. This Chard was bright and even a little alcoholic (good news!).

Feels like: Steely Dan. I realize this is an unflattering personification for wine, given the two founding members of Steely Dan were butt ugly, and the name of the band was derived from a sex toy by the same name in the beatnik novel (eye roll), Naked Lunch. Nevertheless, this Charonnay was a great example of steel barrel fermentation that is quite popular in California. 

Goes with: Not taking wine too seriously (see above). It also goes with patios, backyards, decks, yachts, RV camping and drinking the whole bottle but still being able to drive to the store to pick up another.